The Unborn

The Story:
Casey Beldon hated her mother for abandoning her as a child. But when inexplicable events begin to happen, Casey begins to understand why she left. Plagued by merciless dreams and a tortured ghost that haunts her waking hours, she must turn to the only person, Rabbi Sendak, who can make it stop. With the help of Sendak, her best friend Romy and boyfriend Mark, Casey uncovers the source of a family curse dating back to Nazi Germany--a creature with the ability to inhabit anyone or anything that is getting stronger with each possession. With the curse unleashed, her only chance at survival is to shut a doorway from beyond our world that has been pried open by someone who was never born.

My 2 cents
First of all this movie is getting a lot of hate, and I don't think it deserves it. While not the most original horror film ever made, it's certainly not the worst either.

This is one of the few horror movies that takes it's demons and mythology from Judaism instead of Christianity. Gary Oldman does a good job as the Rabbi/Exorcist, but Oldman is the kind of actor who brings respect to anything he's in.

This movie has some amazingly creepy moments in it. The director, David Goyer, creates a very nightmare like atmosphere. There are several "jump" scares and believe me, they work. I'm not sure where they found all the disturbing children for this movie, but keep me away from that school. The ending is something that was hinted at early on and most horror vets can see coming a mile away.

The biggest problem I had with the movie was the feeling things were left out. It felt like many things were cut down or out just left out to get a PG-13. I know that the DVD will be unrated, and that will probably improve things a bit.

Jeepers Creepers (2001)

"Every 23 years, for 23 days, it gets to eat"

 The Plot:

A brother and sister driving home for spring break encounter a creature on an isolated country road.


My Thoughts:
 This movie is as far from the typical horror movie as you can get.  First there are none of the standard horror movie stereotypes.  No nerds, no jocks, no dumb blondes, and no sex starved co-eds.   Instead we have a normal brother and sister just trying to get home for spring break.

I'd just let him pass. 

Horror movies that take place in broad daylight are much more horrifying to me.  You expect things to go bump in the night, not to try and run you down during rush hour. 

Gina Philips and Justin Long during a rare quiet moment.

Trish and Darry generally avoid doing the standard stupid things.  I say generally, because they do one VERY stupid thing that sets the rest of the movie in motion.  Writer/director Victor Salva goes a long way to justify their stupid act, but I'm pretty sure most people would have kept on going.

This is how I picture all hitchhikers.

The "Creeper" himself is a bit of an enigma.  He uses ancient weapons, but he drives a truck.  A truck that looks to be a 1950's model, but drives like it has a jet engine in it.  We never really get a good explanation of the creeper, and that works for me.  The less you know about the boogeyman, the more frightening he is. 

Keeping things focused on the two siblings, raises the tension.    There aren't any extra teens around just to raise the body count. 

As someone who watches a lot of horror movies, one that breaks the mold is refreshing. 

Conan the Barbarian 3D (2011)

Well, I think we all know the story.

The second 1980's remake that a saw this weekend, and a huge disappointment.  So here's the good, the bad and the ugly of why.

The Good:

The riddle of steel.

Ron Perlman really shines as Conan's father.  The scenes with Perlman and young Conan, played by Leo Howard are the highlight of the movie.  The two share a natural chemistry that was missing from the other characters in the film.  

Way to turn a hot girl creepy.

 

Rose Mcgowan is very creepy as the witch Marique, who has a super disturbing love for her father Khlaer Zym.  She actually out creeped the main baddie.

“I live. I love. I slay…I am content.”

Jason Momoa is excellent as Conan .  He plays the character as manipulative and smart character, who relies on more than brawn to get his revenge. The only downside is that he doesn't have much chemistry with female lead.  I blame this more on Rachel Nichols however. 

The Bad:

I'm a thug with a daughter who wants to have sex with me.

The main villain, Kahler Zym, is very underwhelming. He came off as a thug, more suited to be a henchmen than the main baddie.  A hero needs an appropriate villain, this guy came off as someone who should have been fighting Conan's friends.

Besides the underwhelming baddie, plot holes the size of hoover dam are everywhere.  Characters who could use magic, but don't, people who risk the end of the world just to get laid, etc. 


The Ugly:
The Conan birth scene was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.  When the whole theater bursts out laughing, at what should have been a dramatic scene,  you know they have done something wrong. 

I'm a princess or a monk or something.

Rachel Nichols character was not very well defined.  You never really had a sense of who she was. She should have been as defined as Conan, instead you got a one dimensional character who was just there for Conan to have sex with.

All in all this a remake that is best skipped.

Fright Night 3D (2011)

 

 Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) is a high school senior who’s on top of the world—that is until Jerry (Colin Farrell) moves in next door and Charlie discovers that he is a vampire preying on the neighborhood.

As a huge fan of the original I was a little nervous when I heard it was being remade.  My fears were unfounded as it turns out.  This new version manages to stay true to the original while being updated for the 21st century.  

Screenwriter Marti Noxon, a veteran of "Buffy" and "Angel", knows a thing or two about how to write dialogue for horror movies.

You have to have faith for that to work.

Colin Farrell does a great job seeming confident and more than a bit smarmy as Jerry the vampire.  The entire cast deliver great performances, but one stands above the rest.  

Doctor Who?

David Tennant takes the role of Peter Vincent and runs with it.  Roddie McDowell played the character as a sad washed up actor looking for a break.  Tennant's Vincent is a magician and an arrogant coward who has exploited the vampire legend to make himself rich.  It's very shocking to see Tennant drinking, cussing and generally acting like a douche-bag.

Anyone looking to remake a horror movie should look to this as how it's done.   My only complaint is that the film being in 3D wasn't really necessary. There were a couple of times it was cool, but mostly it could have been 2D and been the same movie.

Super 8

 

The Plot: In the summer of 1979 a group of friends making a zombie movie stumble on more than they bargained for. 

My Two-Cents: This movie is every nerds dream.  You're hanging out with your best friends and that cute girl who you might have a chance with, while making a horror movie, sounds good right?  Oh and you also get to uncover a vast conspiracy and save the world, perfect.

While the nerd elements are important, they are not the whole movie.  The movie is really about repairing relationships and coming to terms with loss.  Some of the plot points were predictable and one scene at the end was a bit heavy handed.  That said, I enjoyed the movie and would throughly recommend it. 

The Future of Horror

The final Saw film came out last year marking the end of an era.  Every Halloween for seven years a new film was released.  This was remarkable since few horror films have pulled this off.   Now that they are over, I have to ask "What's Next"? 

Horror films have long been the product of their times and subject to trends.  The success of Saw brought on the trend of the so-called "torture-porn" movies.  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre  remake's success has led to countless horror classics being remade.  

What will the next trend in horror be?  I personally think it will be documentary/found footage film.  The Last Exorcism, Paranormal Activity, Quarantine (which was itself a remake of rec) these films have already proven to be successful.  They have small budgets, and yield a great return for the studios.  They also cash in on the reality TV craze that has been going strong for the last few years.  

 I have a feeling that the trend may not last as long in horror though.  Horror fans tend to want something new to shock them, that's why most of the trends don't last that long.  Horror fans also like to have a villain with a face too.  That's something that these found footage/mockumentary films generally lack.  Jason, Freddy, Michael and recently Victor Crowley give the horror fan someone to fear.

I think the found footage has a couple of years left.  After that, who knows?

Three things found in every horror movie house, but rarely in yours

Hopefully you live in the house on the right.

While horror movie tend to change with the times, there are a few things they are behind on.  Some of the most important involve changes in building design and personal hygiene.   So here are a few of the most out of place items in horror movies. 

Well maybe they have these at Sweeny Todd's house.

 1. Straight razors.  Almost every house in a horror movie seems to have baskets of these things just laying around.  They always make for a scary visual, but when was the last time you saw one in real life?  I'm 40 and I've only seen them in horror movies.  It's probably a good thing, I can cut myself with a safety razor, these things would kill me.

They always leave your back to the door too.

2. The claw-foot tub.  The main reason for these is so that the killer can pop up behind the teenage girl and murder her.  I say teenage girl, because in horror movies men never take baths or showers. 

3. The bathroom mirror/medicine cabinet.  Long ago these were replaced with larger mirrors so people would have a place to pose for Facebook pictures.  The only purpose these serve in horror movies is this:

Honorable Mention: Breaker boxes on the outside of the house.  By about 1980 people learned that keeping the controls to the power outside was a bad idea.  Now the psycho has to actually be in the house before he can plunge the heroes into darkness.